a1c. its you and me.

Alright.. soooo any diabetic can relate to the nerves of the dreaded A1c test.  No matter how many times I tell myself to calm down I can  not.   It is a test.  I hate any kind of test…  but especially medical tests… but more then anything the a1c test.

See the “dreaded” a1c is a measure of how controlled your sugars have been in a 2 -3 month period.  It literally makes me want to poop my pants.  Sometimes you have a bad week or two, and it is reflected in the a1c.  It is so hard to not judge yourself and feel like a failure.. to judge yourself for every spike or every carb you ate,  and did not cover correctly.  I often beat myself up for the days that I am more lax. Diabetes sucks,  and sometimes I just burn out.  At times I  just want to live life and forget about diabetes.  The bad news is you can not,  so you have to make the best with the situation…  and push through it.Push thought it, we can do it!!

My last a1c was not what I was wanting at all.  I was actually excited and thinking it was going to be a good result.  I am thinking I was in sheer denial, and praying to the diabetes sugar gods to please work with me here.  NOT so much.  The nurse walked in and I was at a whopping 9.1.  Just not what I want.  That would essentially make my average of sugars over 200.  I remember bursting into tears, in disappointment and honestly I was pissed.  Pissed I did not do better,  and pissed at this infuriating disease.  Thank god my husband Paul was there to console me through my breakdown consisting of tears,snot, and the ugly cry face.

My doctor explained the treatments I receive for my vision are effecting my sugar… that helped me feel just a little relief however that less then desirable  A1c lit a fire under my ass like nothing before.  I decided to make some changes after decades of injections I decided to give the insulin pump a go ( which I am loving by the way).  I have been watching carbs like crazy as well and working out more.  I made these changes in hoping for better control.  I do not know what I am hoping for here but I would love for my a1c to measure anywhere in the 7’s, that has been my goal.  We shall see I am nervously awaiting my appointment Wednesday.  Please sugar gods be with me………

 

I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THE SUGAR GODS WERE WITH ME!!!

 

 

I went last Wednesday to my amazing endo  and had an AMAZING appointment! Drum roll please… my a1c is 7.5!!!! I went from 9.1 to 7.5!! I am so so happy! I also found out my kidneys are healing from the better sugars! I have busted my butt, started pump therapy and it has completely paid off! I have learned through this it is never too late to improve things.. if you get bad news, stay positive. I cant wait to keep working at it, and improving my health even further!

My hubby and I went to the beach this weekend to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary ! I ate what I wanted, had some wine,  and he got me the sweetest ballon representing my A1c (pic below, before we hit the beach) Life is good.. I am so thankful.

Below are some pictures from our beach weekend.

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my cheat night at dinner … man did my sugars pay for this fried goodness!

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